Day 73 // Merry Summer Solstice!

Man, it's been a long time since I've been here.

/slacker

Seriously, I've been enjoying summer a little too much. :P
Let's see, for the holiday I've spent the last few days working in the yard, honoring hard work and sweating in the heat :P

I made some wonderful smelling Summer Solstice oil I've been dressing myself with for the last few days and this morning I paid particular close attention to weeding, tending and sprucing up my herb garden. Pictures to come! My basil is about a foot and a half high, with my catnip not too far behind it :P

Of course the rest of the holiday is going to be spent at the BEACH! Saying farewell to the sun ;) I'm gonna have to collect shells and what nots for my altar.

Day 60 // Long time no see..

Well, I apologize for the long delay in posting. I have been enjoying my summer vacation a little too much. Now for the work to begin.

Tonight I tried a Taking Refuge meditation borrowed from the Hermetics and found it very effective. If you're not aware of it, here's a link to the description: Open Source Order of the Golden Dawn

I had a nice cleansing ritual in the shower and a nice chat with Cerridwen to follow. Okay, so it was more of a scolding but it was very comforting either way. I got the feeling that to heal myself I needed to confront my past self, so I went and visited myself when I was 10 and had a blast of a conversation. I learned a lot about myself that I had forgotten and found it extremely healing. Tonight was filled with magick. It was truly rewarding. I faced some flaws and focused on the best qualities I have but had forgotten.

If you haven't looked into your past, I urge you to meditate, take refuge, ground and center and go back to a time that sticks out to you. Whether it was the happiest time of your life and you need to remember why you were happy and why you should be just as happy now.. or whether it was the hardest time of your life and you need to confront it now that you're out of the situation. The latter I will have strength to do another time. But for tonight, I took refuge, became grounded and centered, I even called on the elements (because I always do), and walked through the darkness of my mind to find little me. Best meditation in a long time! And guess what, Cerridwen was right there with me. Good luck!

Day 46 // Natural vs Man Made

Some may dispute over which to use in your witchcraft endeavors and a lot of times, someone can look less credible to me if they make a material suggestion in regards to being "natural". Want the easy answer to solve it?.. Good, I'll give you mine.

If you are wanting to connect with nature during spells or rituals, it would make sense that you would use things found in nature, ie stone, sand, wood, twigs, etc. But those items only hold the meanings they do because we BELIEVE they do and quite admittedly, it is easy to see a wooden bowl and connect trees and earth with it.

But alas, what are they made of? Compounds, molecules.. which are made of ... atoms!!!
Yup! I said it! I went there!
Those stones and branches are made of atoms. Ya know, little combinations of protons (positive), neutrons (neutral) and electrons (negative).. In fact! The whole universe is made of atoms. Biotic (living or once-living) and Abiotic (without life) factors of the universe are made of atoms we have perfectly aligned in a periodic table. We, our Carbon-driven selves, are just a bunch of atoms bonded together to form molecules and compounds that function together as life. Remarkable! Even the precious Moonstone is made out of potassium, aluminum (ohnoes not a metal!) and silicon!!!!!! KAlSi₃O₈

But what then makes up plastics? ziploc baggies? water bottles? gallon jugs? metal flatware? screwdrivers? Sewing machines? *GASP* No.. don't say it..

.. really?..

YES, IT'S ATOMS!!!! In fact, the very same atoms that exist NATURALLY in the universe. So I ask you.. how is anything, man-made? Even those pesky unstable atoms at the bottom of the periodic table are not TRULY man-made. Man did not create the protons and electrons, combining them with man-made neutrons to form these elements.

So why do some say not to use certain metals with herbs? or to store things in glass instead of plastic?

Plastic should not be banned from your witchy cabinet just because it was molded by man. To make a clay pot, one must gather different materials, mix them and mold them. Plastic should be considered for it's qualities -- the fact that it's NOT very biodegradable, if disposed wastes landfill space and is quite porous, allowing qualities of the plastic to break down or seep into your precious oils or herbs, makes it undesirable SOME of the times. But there can definitely be a time and place for them when it makes it easier on your modern witch life.

Metals are not man-made. They account for more than 2/3rds of the periodic table, occurring naturally in the universe. However, they can react when in contact with other elements and harm the result. It grates my nerves to see witches turn away from metal simply because it's metal.

Personally, I can't understand anyone using a wooden mortar/pestle set. All of my bags for tarot, ogham, etc were made out of 100% cotton on an electric sewing machine. My grimoire was made with double-sided sticky tape for scrapbooking and none of my crafts are any less sacred.

So, the next time someone says you can't store your herbs in a plastic bag or you can't stir your cauldron with a plastic spoon, think again. Would it be wise to use something else, not because it is man-made but because of the nature of the project? Would the material harm the product? Or simply, does it not hold the same meaning to you as something else would?

The answer is: use what makes sense to you.
The secret to magick is what you put into it and if you think your spells are just as powerful no matter the nature of the materials used.. then so be it and stop feeling guilty about it.

Day 37 // Sacred Sundays

My Sundays are truly sacred because I can spend them finishing crafts and fixing things :)
So here's photos for proof!

Altar -- these are taken pre-hung curtains, so ignore the ugly brown cloth hung behind the night shot. I was trying to deflect the glow of the curtains from nosey neighbors

Grimoire -- finally finished! I've begun writing it and have purchased a watercolor pen to accent the pages

Herb Garden & Backyard Wildflowers-- their revival and then the 10$ greenhouse on the 10$ raised bed and with all the recent rain, the wildflowers exploded in the back yard so I've picked some and took pics ;P

Jewelry -- My lame attempt at making jewelry ;P

Day 35 // Herb Revival!

My little makeshift greenhouse tent over my raised bed has revived my herbs!

Mint is finally emerging, Moonflower has taken off, Catnip has exploded. It's fantastic. Now with all the recent storms and rain, they're uncovered and free to receive the night's rain.

I'm thrilled. Moving the herb bed across the yard to a shaded spot, and creating a greenhouse to keep it nice and moist inside has saved them!!! :):):):) Another reason to be pleased as punch!

This weekend to-do list:
o upgrade raised-bed to permanent status since it's working out!
o finish my pentacle disc
o finish herbal grimoire
o take pictures of my finished grimoires, altar and herb bed
o re-sort tarot deck
o hang curtains in altar room

Day 35 // Lesson learned

So, after my last post I was feeling pretty distraught.
Last night, I was meandering through the internet and got this incredible urge to meditate and just ask Cerridwen what I'm supposed to do.

So I sat in front of my altar and upon entering my inner temple, I immediately changed how I called the elements. I felt much more connected to say the least. I joked with my self about just calling down Cerridwen.. an informal invocation if you will to chat with her. And so, in my head, it was a less than graceful yell to the heavens to see if she would respond.

And she did.

I'm feeling much more at peace and convinced that I must work with Cerridwen. I can't say she chose me or claimed me. I can say that she could care less if I walked away from her and I'm very pleased with all of this. Let's just say part of our dialogue went like this:
"How do I know you're really you and not a figment of my imagination? How I can believe this is real?"
"You already believe. You have to trust yourself. Now stop moping around and do something."

Whether it was my higher self responding or Cerridwen, I get the point. Who cares? If I believe it's Cerridwen, just trust it and go with it.

Excellent. I ran a 3 card Tarot spread over the situation and it correctly described my spiritual past as frustrated, my spiritual present as confused and my spiritual future as harmony. Pleased as punch!

Day 28 // Deity?

I just wanted to pop on and say that I believe I have had my very first exchange with a deity. I'm so thrilled and excited. I'm trying to keep it inside because I don't want to overdo it with melodrama ;P

I decided to work through a Hermetic exercise I read in Jason Augustus' Book "The New Hermetics" for finding or defining, rather, your inner teacher. Aside from being completely assimilated within my inner space and amongst the elementals, which was quite trippy, I went searching to define my inner teacher and found Cerridwen. At the time, I knew Cerridwen was Celtic and possibly dark, but I wasn't sure of much more than that since I have spent most of my time reading about Brigid and Tailtiu.

Anyways, I felt excellent about it and even more so to find out she's a Welsh Goddess when I had already felt drawn tothe names Arianrhod and Elen. After reading a bit, I'm not really sure what to think.

In other news, Elemental Water was too emotional to chat much but listened, while Elemental Air asked for marshmallows and feathers. LOL. I must be losing my mind!! :P

Day 26 // Altar

So, remember my awesome altar on top of my old dresser that I talked about?
Yea, I moved it. To the spare bedroom. Out of my large walk-in closet.

I decided that most people were right and hiding my altar felt like I was hiding a piece of me. So I moved it. It's now in the spare room and I have an entire room to myself for crafts (of all sorts.. since I dabble in quilting, scrapbooking and everything else.) It's right there along side my creative energies :)

I love having everything set out as I walk by it. It doesn't feel so .. I dunno.. hidden? Ah well.
I'm going to be making an altar cloth for it. I'm thinking of quasi-quilting something together for it from my wedding cloth. See, we decorated my whole wedding ourselves (my family since we're quite crafty.. and I promise it didn't look white trash at all.. girl scout promise).. and the fabric we used for table runners and what not.. well I kept the extra knowing that one day I'd have a use for it. I've used it for bordering a wedding book for us.. and things like that. I'm thinking of using some more for my altar cloth. What better way could there be to lay down love ;)

Day 24 // Personal Crap

So here it is.. personal life creeps in and gets serious.

Fawn had a dr's appt today (her 2 yr well-baby) and she's still on the smaller side in height and weight. But she's good. The issue is her speaking.

She refuses to speak. Yes, I know.. it's unbelievable.. a 2 year old that won't talk. It's not as uncommon as you may think. While I was one to talk non-stop the minute I understood the spoken word.. my husband didn't speak until he was 3. The thing is.. you could talk to her like she's 12 with several commands in a row.. and she'll do them and understand completely what you want her to do. She gets bored with toys and only entertains herself with creative things (play-doh, pretend play, coloring, painting, building with blocks, writing). She has no interest in books or dolls or things like that. She gives the illusion of communication because she's so extremely expressive in her face and body language. But if you count the words she actually says .. it's barely 30.. and 15 of those we force her to say. She'd rather INVENT sign language to speak... which she has done. She'd rather take your finger to show you what she wants instead of say it. She'd rather figure out how to get it herself or do it herself if you ask her to say the word. When she was 13mos, I'd try to get her to speak by saying "Fawn.. Say 'drink'," and she'd just nod. It was the weirdest thing. She knew an ungodly amount of vocabulary at 12 mos but wouldn't speak it. She'd just nod as if to tell you "Yea, that's what it's called. Give it to me." "No, Fawn.. say "Drink".. watch mommy's mouth.. say "da da da drink".. of course I'm just looking for an attempt. She would just nod.

Honestly, it breaks my heart to see other two year olds speaking 3-4 word sentences and bridging new ideas and sharing what they think.. and my daughter barely says two syllable words. It's heartwrenching to think of the last year of us busting our asses to get her to talk. We've refused giving her things (extra things she didn't need like one more piece of cheese for a snack.. or one more cookie .. something unnecessary) unless she used the word, and she'll eventually say it after much struggling to get her to even TRY. But the next time, it's the same struggle. We've rewarded her with m&m's for saying a word.. to see if it was defiance and stubbornness and it didn't matter. Her first words were shoes and please. Yea.. seriously..

No, I take that back. When she was 8mos old I have a recording of her repeating Mama over and over again.. and it would make me cry. She would do all of her sounds with me and everything, it was beautiful and then all of a sudden... Nothing. I know there's little to no research, but they're convinced she doesn't have a hearing problem due to frequent ear infections and now tubes in her ears since 11mos. But I'm not convinced. She hears.. but I'm not sure the sound isn't distorted. She seems HYPER sensitive to sound :/

Either way, we've been referred to a speech pathologist to determine what her issue is. I really hope whatever it is, it's correctable. And if it is stubbornness.. because Fawn is pretty damn stubborn... then we're in trouble.

Day 23 // Cont'd .. History

So, on a new pagan forum I'm a member of the post came up about how you came to witchcraft. I figured I'd give the more detailed answer here.

So I was about 15, found a Silver Ravenwolf book and read it. I was completely thrilled that something like this really existed. Seriously. I had written quite a bit of poetry when I was younger about Mother Earth. Want a sample?

The Earth is screaming, sobbing weeping//searching through my veins.
It brings new messages to me with every heart beat//and thought within my brain.
It rumbles it's thunder and thinks like lightning//It interrupts my continuance and shows me the frightening
What holds you back, Great Earth Mother//of cleansing yourself from hell, horrors and hunger?
Your light burns deep taking me into your hold//You are my spirit and soul, for which a body you mold.
Hold fast, Sweet Earth Mother of mine//Greatness and beauty will return down the line
Of power and faith from which you control//Your followers, like me, can be your patrol
I breathe for thee, and hold you fast//I live for thee and learn my past
The world speaks to us if you listened to your hearts//for they are the ears of Mother Earth.

Cheesy, I know, but meh.. I was 14 ;) So yea, I was writing stuff about Goddesses and Mother Earth constantly and then found Silver Ravenwolfs "To Ride a Silver Broomstick" and fell in love. I practiced magick daily. I felt so empowered and cared for. I felt like the divine was everywhere around me and while I didn't see it so much as a religious move, I felt very connected and magickal.

Then I had a scary dream. I was asleep in my room and opened my eyes to find four hooded figures standing in my room around me. I was freaked out. I couldn't see their faces and wasn't sure I wanted too. I knew they were spiritual, I just wasn't sure they were good. So I stopped practicing all together and was afraid God was punishing me. So I stopped and the magickal feeling for the world was cut off from me.

I finished high school disconnected and not believing in anything. I became suicidal over family events and needed to move out to gain my sanity back. Eventually, my sophomore year in college I landed an RA job that allowed me to move out and live in the dorms for free. It was perfect. And then it happened again, I met a girl who was a "Green Witch". I have this uncanny knack for pagan radar. Anyway, I was too afraid to pick it back up again, but I would go to pagan shops with her and loved being in them.

I tried to "be" Christian and it didn't work. It didn't fit. I found myself frustrated and angry and confused all the time. To the point where, after I got married I would say to my husband "Pray that this is resolved." and he would say "Why don't you pray for it too?" and I'd say "Because God listens to you. I don't exist to him." My husband would always argue that point, but I felt it. I knew the Christian God wasn't there for me. I became terrified of Death, terrified of everything, terrified of losing everything because there was nothing to believe in.

And then one day about a year and a half ago, on a very long ride home from visiting people I didn't want to see I thought "So what, if I don't believe in God. Am I really pagan?" I decided labels would come later, I just start thinking about the universe instead. So, through talking with my husband and figuring out what felt right I began to form a picture of what I thought was religion for me. It fits with paganism and I'm still unsure of which path (I've read more books in the last six months than I have in my life, I think? ;P) and I'm currently leaning towards a Druid path, but I'm interested in Hermeticism as well. Point is, all I've done is read and think and I've still not decided exactly what I am and that's okay. I know what I'm not and when I said what I wasn't out loud to my husband, I felt so much better. I didn't feel abandoned, I felt free. I felt free to view the universe the way my own heart sees it.

My soul is at peace and I am more religious now than I have ever been and tomorrow I'll be even more religious than I have ever been. I am happy with my soul. Now, I'm working out the kinks, like finding a matron/patron deity and unclogging the 13 years of non-magickal buildup I have.

I have found my way and I hope this helps someone understand and figure out what they need to do to find themselves and be at peace.

Day 23 // Myriad

You will often hear me say that I HATE where I live. Not the house, or the neighborhood or the city. Those are the best out of what we've found. But I HATE this state and this climate. It's too freakin' hot, summer lasts from April to November.

But I could never deny how much I love the wildflowers that bloom in the spring. It is quite common to see photographers lined up on the highways and back roads, in the fields taking pictures for hours. It's quite amazing how resilient they are.

Like I've shown before, I have a continuous supply of buttercups in my backyard. I've dried two bunches already, we've mowed (have to -- neighborhood rules), and they've popped right back up. Well, my front yard is now covered in Catsear (Flatweed or False Dandelions). The whole plant can be eaten and used like Dandelions and the only difference is a few physical differences in leaf shape and stem. It originated in Europe and now is considered a noxious weed.

and this evening, I'm out to cultivate this bright yellow herb! I'll be drying the leaves and the flowers and leaving the roots. Maybe I'll be fortunate enough to get more ;)

I also built my raised bed in about 20 minutes from planks of wood for my herbs and let's just say, I'm super nervous. I hope the herbs survive! *nail biting* For the meantime, I'm off to work on my Ogham divination set.

Day 22 // Happy Beltane!

Last night, I held a small solitary ritual for Beltane making some Beltane Oil and followed with a Banishing Oil I had been meaning to make. I wish there was a local group nearby that I could participate with, but alas, solitary is excellent if not better ;) This marks the very first holiday I have participated in as a pagan.

Did I mention that I love little glass bottles? ^.^

Any who, we made a trip out to buy some wood. Get this! I want to make a raised bed, right? For my herbs. If you go and buy a pre-cut raised bed kit from "PLUG IN LOCAL DO-IT-YOURSELF LAWN AND HOME STORE", you can pay around 70$ !!!!! That's not counting the soil to fill it! Good grief that's a scam!

So, being the thrifty freak I am.. I'm doing it myself ;) Huzzah! I'm sticking it to the Do-it-yourself man.... whoever.. he is.

I bought a 5/4" x 6" x 16' plank of wood, had THEM cut it (they cut it for free) into two 6" x 4' planks and two 6" x 3' planks for a whopping.. $7.00!!! Then add in the 2" wood screws and you've got MAYBE $10 with sales tax for a 4' x 3' raised bed. I could have had a 5' x 3' but I was afraid it wouldn't fit in the car with the car seat in the back.. .. plus... Fawn, lol. I don't think she'd take kindly to sharing space with lumber not to mention the safety hazard. SO! 4'x3' it is and it's plenty big enough.

I was chicken shit decided to play it smart and since the herbs were doing so well in the little biodegradable cells, I bought biodegradable 4"- 6'' pots to transplant them into before exposing them to the raised bed, raw like... ...

Since everything was biodegradable I just left the herbs in their original cells, ripped off the bottoms so the roots didn't have to fight through the container (even though they had started too) and sat them inside the new biodegradable pots. Filled in the sides with soil and sat them outside. They're currently enjoying their first evening and night in fresh air and pure sunlight. I watered them and left them on my cement slab until I can build the bed tomorrow morning.. I would have done it today but .. the summer heat was in full gear and I was already working quite a sweat watering the lawn in near 90F heat at 7pm.

Let me tell you, 23 containers of baby herbs makes you look quite the pro if you've never grown anything. Dare I say, I have a light green thumb? If they survive the transplant/move outside and the treacherous onslaught of summer, I'll officially title myself, Queen of the Herbs!!! ... for the day at least.. :P

Day 21 // Bright Blessings on Beltane!

Say that 9 times fast! :P

Tonight, I took Fawn outside and taught her how to pick flowers ;) She was of course very interested in just the petals and would pluck them off one by one. I think the little nature spirits in my backyard would have found her sweet and innocent. The ladybugs wouldn't leave her alone, so I'm taking that as a sign of them liking her ;P She is an Earth baby, born Taurus on Earth day after all.. ;) Okay, so Earth day is a made up holiday, but still.

So I taught her how to pick them and get the whole buttercup flower! What a concept! lol! We gathered them up and placed them on the altar. Something's been chomping on them because several have perfectly cut out round holes in the petals ;P

I received my six essential oils from mountainroseherbs today and oh my goodness they smell so FREAKIN' good!!! The lemon and orange.. man. I'm a sucker for citrus. I also got my glass bottles from sunburst. 30 little amber 15ml bottles with reducers and 12 glass jars for dried herbs. I love glass bottles. Have I mentioned that before? Just looking at them make me happy! They're so freakishly cute!

Lastly, the plan for this weekend is to transplant my herbs finally to the outdoors. They've stopped growing. They're definitely not dead, they've just reached their peak for their little starter cells and the biodegradable container is breaking a part. So it looks like I'm going to buy some planks of wood and build a raised-bed for my herbs. The ground here is too tough and dry. Not to mention probably nutrient poor. So, I'll start in the raised bed and maybe by the time the roots get deep enough they'll have a good enough root system to adjust to the natural dust dirt.

.. meanwhile, I've made a recent addition to my "Dream House Must Haves" list and it includes a huge greenhouse lol.

Day 20 // Grimoire & Oils

Huzzah! My grimoire is good to go. I'm still messing with and decorating the cover but I couldn't help but show it off! If you'd like to see how I made it, here's step by step pictures of how I did it: Grimoire

Lastly, my first set of oils arrived! :) I'm so excited! I got them from www.mountainroseherbs.com. I love essential oils and I'm so thrilled to begin making my own solutions of them :) Lots of wonderful things with this full moon.

Day 19 // Full Moon Blessings to everyone!

Tonight, I am introducing my grimoire to the night under the full moon. It's been sitting out from sunset and will past sunrise! I'm so excited about it!

I also messed around with some clay for some decorations on the top. Can't wait to show that off too.. barring it doesn't suck when I'm done :P

In other news, work sucks. The big D. I'm ready to move on with this week. To keep me positive, I've started reading "The New Hermetics" by Jason Augustus Newcombe. So far not bad but we'll see. I have this sneaky feeling he's just trying to sell books, but I guess I'll find out. I need to move it to my Nook to finish it faster. I'll review it here when I'm finished.

Day 18 // The Adalaim Pantheon

Before I get to the heavy stuff, let me mention that my grimoire is nearly done. I've added studs, experimented with some air-dry/bake clay to add decor and effects.. . I'm thinking I'll place it out in the full moon tomorrow night (*here's to no rain*) among the pink flowers in my backyard and I will consider it attuned to the elements and ready for ritual introduction. It's been a lot of work but totally worth it!

Lastly, I've been deeply troubled by my pantheon (or rather lack thereof). I have meditated daily, waited for signs and dreams and have received no recognition of "whom" I should be making offerings too. In the beginning I've been saying "Lord and Lady" and to be honest, it's just not cutting it. It's impersonal and I believe names have power. While I'm not a feminist, I still began looking for my "main" Goddess to identify with. Trust me, I don't have anything against Gods. But as a mother and a wife and as a daughter.. I figured it would be easier to start there. .. .. and I've had no luck.

I started looking at cultures. I identify with the Celtic because I'm from a VERY heavy Irish background but if I believe that names have power (which I do).. I need to be able to pronounce the names.. and Gaelic.. quite frankly. ... is kicking my ass. I lose myself reading Irish folklore trying to pronounce all the names that I forget to enjoy the story. I also identify with Shinto, because I lived in Japan for a time and loved it, completely fell in love and went to Shinto shrines for festivals yearly. However, most of the Shinto belief is steeped in the idea that Japan is sacred and while I wouldn't disagree.. I can't really.. do much about it.. from Bible Belt, USA. The land here is.. well.. almost ugly (*wince*) to me and I feel like I don't belong here in this place.. therefore it's hard to connect it to the Japanese divine.

Aside from that, I'm realizing there's an undercurrent of commonality among cultures. They chose deities for similar, if not identical, concepts. Therefore, the culture matters not, because the divine is universal and all encompassing. Those people created those stories and those names for their Gods/desses because that's what made since in their language to them. *sigh*

This is what I was looking for:

• ancient or at least considered ancient by that pantheon's terms
• a name I could pronounce and moved through me like the vibration of a perfectly tuned bell when I said it
• of the elements, fire, earth, air, water...

That last bit is important. That's right.. I don't identify with the Goddess of Healing or the God of War. Can't help it. Therefore, I would rather work with personifications of the elements. So, tonight I decided I would create my own pantheon. It includes Egyptian, Greek, and Fiji/Polynesian/Hawaiian, and .. me. Yup, you read that right.. I'm making me part of the pantheon.

Okay, so I'm not going to worship me with a mirror.. I'm not vain lol. Hear me out.. I want to include Spirit and I think it would make sense that my soul, my consciousness, my flaws and my talents would best represent the spirit in my workings... because it is me... a being of the elements, of the universe.. a product of the divine energy that has created everything, feeds everything and returns from everything. Being therefore part of the divine.. makes my energy divine. Therefore the Goddess of Spirit.. would be .. .. me.

My heart feels most at peace with what I've decided tonight and that's what matters most, right? :)

Day 16 // Witchie Cabinet, Grimoires and Herbs, oh my!

Today was a day of crafts!

I've officially renamed my BoS to be a grimoire and it's coming along quite nicely. At first today, I decided I was just going to tie the pieces together. Then one thing lead to another and I was taping the sides. Next thing I knew, I had the cardboard pieces cut out and the fabric attached to it!! So all I have left is to decorate the front and to attach the pages to the hardback cover. Ta da! It's looking great and I'm taking pictures along the way, so I'll have to put them in a montage or something when I'm done.

My herbs are still coming along nicely. I'm going to have to transplant them next weekend as they are getting too big for their little cells.

Lastly, I finally got around to sewing a bag for my tarot cards. I've been addicted to my tarot, pulling a card in the morning. I've asked a couple of serious questions but have pulled just a one card spread, which isn't in depth enough. When I feel more comfortable with the meanings, I'll most likely get crazier with the spreads. If anyone has tips for how to use patterns to memorize their meanings, that would be fantastic.

OH WAIT! there's more! I bought about 30 little amber bottles and about 50$ worth of essential oils too! Can't wait for those to arrive. Hopefully in time for Beltane, but we'll see. I also got stuff to make some clay decorations for my grimoire and an altar tile.

That's not it!! I also got my wardrobe and dresser delivered yesterday! The dresser is serving as the new altar. It's approximately 100 years old and was my great-grandmother's.. AND.. an antique wardrobe that has been dated approximately 100 years old as well for my cabinet. When everything's set up, aka... altar tiles, cauldron, amber bottles and what not.. I'll shoot some pics! :)

Hope your weekends were as productive as mine was! :) Bright blessings to everyone! :P

Day 11 // BOS

So today, all 300 pages were finished drying. I separated them into 9 different sections .. hole punched them 8 times each.. and set eyelets in four of the holes. I'm done for the night.

I feel so crappy. Whatever is floating in the air is killing me. Okay, so not literally, just jeez. My throat is screaming for attention and nothing soothes it, I can barely speak and just generally feel crappy.

So while I could still have time to strings the book together, I opted not too. I still have until the full moon to set it outside and I have Fawn's birthday to get ready for. *sigh* I do have to say, the book is looking quite fabulous.

Day 10 // BoS

I had already posted so much information yesterday, that I figured to wait until today to post that I have started my BoS.

I found the 11"x17" paper at Office Depot, trimmed about 300 sheets to 11x14 and have already had it soaked in a water and herb solution. It has been drying now for 24 hours. They all would have been dry by now but I don't have enough surface space to lay the sheets out on top of. So, they're sitting in a nice dry, well-ventilated room with a fan going and some that are kinda sitting under the others are, of course, not dry yet. But I'll tell you something REALLY cool about the whole thing...

Just from me submerging each sheet into water individually, carrying it across the kitchen to dry and moving them around every so often to expose different sides has made the edges kinda crinkly and cracked, giving it a very old look. AND some of the ground herbs never washed off (even better in my book).. no BETTER YET, the herbs that didn't wash off stained the paper. So my paper is not evenly colored and has a few spots where bits of herb dried. Two bonuses out of the whole thing I wasn't expecting. Aesthetics, but still cool.

Currently about 50% of the pages are dry. Next I'll be selecting the most even sides, lining them to the best of my ability because they're quite messed up at the moment, putting eyelets through several at a time to create bunches until I have all 300 in eyelets and then tying them together! Huzzah! Once I have that complete it will be a ritual in incense for air, a ritual in fire where I singe off some bits, and then I'll bury it for a night for earth.. and then lay it out in the full moon. Ta da! Right, so they better get to drying lol.

So far, I'm in love with the result! :P

Day 9 // Herbs! +Pics

I went out and picked some buttercups from my backyard! They look adorable on my altar table. For good measure, here's a shot of my overgrown backyard that I begged L2 not to mow ;P


I promised pictures of growing herbs and here are just a few! :P



These will be a moonflower vine, not technically a herb but still growing none the less! :P

Day 8 // Herbs

I just remembered!
I wish I had a time-lapse camera!
My herbs are doing fantastic! A few haven't germinated yet and that's okay because they may have longer germination than the others. We'll wait and see and I'll try again later if those don't make it.

Either way, I had an air circulation issue that I've fixed but they're doing great! I'm watering them every other day, rotating the tray and they're sprouting up like it's nothing!

Literally, my Moonflower seeds were germinating last night and tonight they have 3" high stems with their first leaf coming out! I'm going to have to transplant them soon! Chamomile is growing like a weed, have my first signs of catnip and lavendar too! Not to mention all the others! Wee! It's great fun and oddly rewarding! :)

Day 8 // BoS & Altar

    So I finally gathered the materials to begin building my Book. But it will take probably until the full moon to get it set up, which is great. I'll be happy if I have the bulk (the paper) portion of the book completed and set out in the moonlight by then. I've got 11 days.
    My current BoS is a spiral bound notebook. Lawl. Hey, we all have to start somewhere. Ill take pictures and post them as I build it.
    Today I went to Hobby Lobby and found that candles were 50% off! Bought several tapers in several different colors for $ .50, all candle holders too. I got an incense burner I can tolerate from World Market. It's meant to be a candle holder, but I'm adapting it for burning cone incense. It's just me but I can't stand how silly stick incense looks sticking out of a hole from something. Way to phallic for my liking, but then again.. .maybe I'm just perverted. lol. So anyway, cute little incense holder over my altar. Ribbon and trim was 50% off too, so I bought some satin rope for making bags which brings me to my largest purchase! I finally got a crop-a-dile!
    I dabble in scrapbooking and a crop-a-dile is a necessity for creating holes in materials for the books as well as installing snaps and eyelets. WELL! I finally got one and I'm so excited I can use it for making bags too! Ya know, little bags to hold my tarot cards, runes, etc.
    In another store, I found this adorable little dish made in japan in the shape of a bloated fish. I'm using it to hold water on my altar.
    I also found a little ceramic square dish made in japan that I'm going to use as an offering plate. Currently, it's holding rocks L2 (my hubby) has collected and thought was cool. The poor things have been sitting on our dresser forever with no proper home. Consider it taken care of.
    Found a glass bottle to hold some gemstones.
    BEST OF ALL! I got all of Fawn's birthday shopping done as well as party decoration shopping! Over the summer, I'll be repainting her bedroom to be a fairy-land. The plan is to paint the walls purple with a mural on her largest wall of a magical forest. Then paint and decorate bird houses from craft stores into fairy houses and hang them from the roof in her room to give the decorations a more interactive feel. I'm not quite sure what to put on the actual walls yet where there isn't a mural. Ah well, it'll come to me ;) I love painting so it should be a fantastic project and I'll be sure to show lots of pictures.
    Lessee.. other than that. Busy weekend! Busy week to come! I have cookies to make tomorrow for a colleague who is returning to work after being gone for four months due to a broken hip. I have Fawn's birthday presents to wrap, day care cupcakes to make and her birthday cake for her party Saturday. Pictures to follow! :)

Day 5 // First Esbat

Today, I cleansed my modest altar and dedicated it in honor of the new moon. It was very exciting... okay for me at least.

Other than that, I have run out of youtube channels to watch and websites to visit. I hate that most pagan websites are poorly designed.

In other news, I hate that Oak cause such debilitating allergic reactions when pollinating. I love Oak so much, but Fawn gets so sick from it :( It's very frustrating. This weekend we go shopping for her 2nd birthday and I hope she's feeling good enough to visit with her grandparents.

Day 2 // Baby Steps

Today was a day of baby steps.

- I moved my treadmill out of my garage to save it from the oncoming summer heat and hopefully to encourage me to use it more often.

- I gave my first true offerings to the spirits that surround my home with a fresh pear, a fresh grapefruit and french bread. Which was easy to give out when I woke up to find my backyard covered in dew and pink evening primrose flowers. In the center on my lawn was a large grass spider web with about a million drops of water on it. I thought it all was an excellent omen to my new start.

- I cleaned out my walk-in closet to make room for a table to become my altar.

- I setup my altar though it is comprised of three things. A working candle and a candle for the Goddess and for the God. That simple. It will grow. I know it. But right now, baby steps. The new moon is in a couple days so I will most likely wait for then to cleansing and what not. The whole “sha-bang” if you will.

- I made a few pouches today for rituals on the esbats.

- Watered my little seedlings

- I tested out a couple ideas for my book of shadows. I can’t wait to begin building it and then of course for sharing how I did it. ^.^

Other than that, it was also a day of laundry and getting ready for the week ahead. Fawn has been sneezing all day, surely a sign that the local oak have pollinated. If the weather could decide what it wanted it to do, it may move it out of the air, but alas today felt like a day in the northwest. Muggy, misty, humid and cool. I loved it.

Day 1 // New Beginnings

Even though I’ve been rekindling my love for my beliefs for several weeks, I’m counting today as day one.

My make-shift book of shadows still remains as a spiral notebook with random ramblings, lists of ideas, lists of needs, lists of wants, and more lists. Did I mention I’m a list maker? It’s because I like to plan. Don’t get me wrong, I’m pretty good on my feet in the heat of the moment when it matters, but I love having a plan. And a list. or two. or five.

Whatever.

I was out today with L2 (hubby for 5.5 years) and Fawn (our 23month old daughter). I finally managed to get a working candle and a matching set of candles for the Goddess and God, as well as 2 glass plates to put them on. I’m recycling a very wicked-looking vase I was given a while back, but never used, to hold my working candle. The first steps to a real altar. It will be modest to say the least, but every altar has to start somewhere and it most definitely doesn’t matter how elaborate it is as long as the intention is there. As well as, hubby and I went a bit overboard on the tax money and spent it all redoing our downstairs (floors, dining room set, new living room suite, etc). So I’ll be in a better position to get supplies in a few weeks. But all in due time.

My plan tomorrow is to start reorganizing our large walk-in closet to make room for a table to be my altar. I’m super excited about claiming some space. And no worries, my husband isn’t shoving me in the closet. lol. We have a free third bedroom, I could claim but the idea of friends and family coming to stay and as I am not public about my religious choice, and don’t plan on being any time soon, taking down everything I will eventually have up seems a bit daunting. Therefore, I’ll just start in the large closet and be able to keep it away from others all the time.

The real treat? I just learned this weekend that a very old-fashioned wardrobe my mother had been using for 28 years is now mine. She bought it at an estate sale for 48$ when she was pregnant with me with the intention of giving it to me one day. It’s taking up space in her house and with my new path I realized what an ideal craft cabinet it would make. I’ll take pictures when we’ve moved it in. It’s believed to be over 100 years old.

I titled Day 1 as new beginnings because, well the obvious for starting my path, but not only buying the very first pieces to my altar BUT with beginning my craft as well. I bought herb seeds and have planted them today in a large germination tray. There’s about 13 different types and I have already made plans for where they will be transplanted too in September. I love herbs. I love the idea of growing and caring for them. I love the idea of drying them out and using them in incense and tinctures. If I could purr, I’d be doing it right now ;P

Quite a successful Day 1. I admit.
Aside from the magick already occurring in my life. I fell in love with herbs as a part of religious practice and have been pouring over youtube videos, websites and encyclopedias thinking how wonderful it would be to have my own garden and that I would have to make one, one day and low and behold, a friend had found some extra biodegradable germination trays and offered me one with six sets of herb seeds to get started. They hadn’t known I had been looking into growing herbs. ..
Then there’s the case of the soon-to-be witchie cabinet coming my way. With all the right compartments, to be used as such presents itself right when I decide to claim some space.

The Goddess is alive and magick is afoot, I believe ;) Be positive, be love and you will find love in everything.