Day 46 // Natural vs Man Made

Some may dispute over which to use in your witchcraft endeavors and a lot of times, someone can look less credible to me if they make a material suggestion in regards to being "natural". Want the easy answer to solve it?.. Good, I'll give you mine.

If you are wanting to connect with nature during spells or rituals, it would make sense that you would use things found in nature, ie stone, sand, wood, twigs, etc. But those items only hold the meanings they do because we BELIEVE they do and quite admittedly, it is easy to see a wooden bowl and connect trees and earth with it.

But alas, what are they made of? Compounds, molecules.. which are made of ... atoms!!!
Yup! I said it! I went there!
Those stones and branches are made of atoms. Ya know, little combinations of protons (positive), neutrons (neutral) and electrons (negative).. In fact! The whole universe is made of atoms. Biotic (living or once-living) and Abiotic (without life) factors of the universe are made of atoms we have perfectly aligned in a periodic table. We, our Carbon-driven selves, are just a bunch of atoms bonded together to form molecules and compounds that function together as life. Remarkable! Even the precious Moonstone is made out of potassium, aluminum (ohnoes not a metal!) and silicon!!!!!! KAlSi₃O₈

But what then makes up plastics? ziploc baggies? water bottles? gallon jugs? metal flatware? screwdrivers? Sewing machines? *GASP* No.. don't say it..

.. really?..

YES, IT'S ATOMS!!!! In fact, the very same atoms that exist NATURALLY in the universe. So I ask you.. how is anything, man-made? Even those pesky unstable atoms at the bottom of the periodic table are not TRULY man-made. Man did not create the protons and electrons, combining them with man-made neutrons to form these elements.

So why do some say not to use certain metals with herbs? or to store things in glass instead of plastic?

Plastic should not be banned from your witchy cabinet just because it was molded by man. To make a clay pot, one must gather different materials, mix them and mold them. Plastic should be considered for it's qualities -- the fact that it's NOT very biodegradable, if disposed wastes landfill space and is quite porous, allowing qualities of the plastic to break down or seep into your precious oils or herbs, makes it undesirable SOME of the times. But there can definitely be a time and place for them when it makes it easier on your modern witch life.

Metals are not man-made. They account for more than 2/3rds of the periodic table, occurring naturally in the universe. However, they can react when in contact with other elements and harm the result. It grates my nerves to see witches turn away from metal simply because it's metal.

Personally, I can't understand anyone using a wooden mortar/pestle set. All of my bags for tarot, ogham, etc were made out of 100% cotton on an electric sewing machine. My grimoire was made with double-sided sticky tape for scrapbooking and none of my crafts are any less sacred.

So, the next time someone says you can't store your herbs in a plastic bag or you can't stir your cauldron with a plastic spoon, think again. Would it be wise to use something else, not because it is man-made but because of the nature of the project? Would the material harm the product? Or simply, does it not hold the same meaning to you as something else would?

The answer is: use what makes sense to you.
The secret to magick is what you put into it and if you think your spells are just as powerful no matter the nature of the materials used.. then so be it and stop feeling guilty about it.

Day 37 // Sacred Sundays

My Sundays are truly sacred because I can spend them finishing crafts and fixing things :)
So here's photos for proof!

Altar -- these are taken pre-hung curtains, so ignore the ugly brown cloth hung behind the night shot. I was trying to deflect the glow of the curtains from nosey neighbors

Grimoire -- finally finished! I've begun writing it and have purchased a watercolor pen to accent the pages

Herb Garden & Backyard Wildflowers-- their revival and then the 10$ greenhouse on the 10$ raised bed and with all the recent rain, the wildflowers exploded in the back yard so I've picked some and took pics ;P

Jewelry -- My lame attempt at making jewelry ;P

Day 35 // Herb Revival!

My little makeshift greenhouse tent over my raised bed has revived my herbs!

Mint is finally emerging, Moonflower has taken off, Catnip has exploded. It's fantastic. Now with all the recent storms and rain, they're uncovered and free to receive the night's rain.

I'm thrilled. Moving the herb bed across the yard to a shaded spot, and creating a greenhouse to keep it nice and moist inside has saved them!!! :):):):) Another reason to be pleased as punch!

This weekend to-do list:
o upgrade raised-bed to permanent status since it's working out!
o finish my pentacle disc
o finish herbal grimoire
o take pictures of my finished grimoires, altar and herb bed
o re-sort tarot deck
o hang curtains in altar room

Day 35 // Lesson learned

So, after my last post I was feeling pretty distraught.
Last night, I was meandering through the internet and got this incredible urge to meditate and just ask Cerridwen what I'm supposed to do.

So I sat in front of my altar and upon entering my inner temple, I immediately changed how I called the elements. I felt much more connected to say the least. I joked with my self about just calling down Cerridwen.. an informal invocation if you will to chat with her. And so, in my head, it was a less than graceful yell to the heavens to see if she would respond.

And she did.

I'm feeling much more at peace and convinced that I must work with Cerridwen. I can't say she chose me or claimed me. I can say that she could care less if I walked away from her and I'm very pleased with all of this. Let's just say part of our dialogue went like this:
"How do I know you're really you and not a figment of my imagination? How I can believe this is real?"
"You already believe. You have to trust yourself. Now stop moping around and do something."

Whether it was my higher self responding or Cerridwen, I get the point. Who cares? If I believe it's Cerridwen, just trust it and go with it.

Excellent. I ran a 3 card Tarot spread over the situation and it correctly described my spiritual past as frustrated, my spiritual present as confused and my spiritual future as harmony. Pleased as punch!

Day 28 // Deity?

I just wanted to pop on and say that I believe I have had my very first exchange with a deity. I'm so thrilled and excited. I'm trying to keep it inside because I don't want to overdo it with melodrama ;P

I decided to work through a Hermetic exercise I read in Jason Augustus' Book "The New Hermetics" for finding or defining, rather, your inner teacher. Aside from being completely assimilated within my inner space and amongst the elementals, which was quite trippy, I went searching to define my inner teacher and found Cerridwen. At the time, I knew Cerridwen was Celtic and possibly dark, but I wasn't sure of much more than that since I have spent most of my time reading about Brigid and Tailtiu.

Anyways, I felt excellent about it and even more so to find out she's a Welsh Goddess when I had already felt drawn tothe names Arianrhod and Elen. After reading a bit, I'm not really sure what to think.

In other news, Elemental Water was too emotional to chat much but listened, while Elemental Air asked for marshmallows and feathers. LOL. I must be losing my mind!! :P

Day 26 // Altar

So, remember my awesome altar on top of my old dresser that I talked about?
Yea, I moved it. To the spare bedroom. Out of my large walk-in closet.

I decided that most people were right and hiding my altar felt like I was hiding a piece of me. So I moved it. It's now in the spare room and I have an entire room to myself for crafts (of all sorts.. since I dabble in quilting, scrapbooking and everything else.) It's right there along side my creative energies :)

I love having everything set out as I walk by it. It doesn't feel so .. I dunno.. hidden? Ah well.
I'm going to be making an altar cloth for it. I'm thinking of quasi-quilting something together for it from my wedding cloth. See, we decorated my whole wedding ourselves (my family since we're quite crafty.. and I promise it didn't look white trash at all.. girl scout promise).. and the fabric we used for table runners and what not.. well I kept the extra knowing that one day I'd have a use for it. I've used it for bordering a wedding book for us.. and things like that. I'm thinking of using some more for my altar cloth. What better way could there be to lay down love ;)

Day 24 // Personal Crap

So here it is.. personal life creeps in and gets serious.

Fawn had a dr's appt today (her 2 yr well-baby) and she's still on the smaller side in height and weight. But she's good. The issue is her speaking.

She refuses to speak. Yes, I know.. it's unbelievable.. a 2 year old that won't talk. It's not as uncommon as you may think. While I was one to talk non-stop the minute I understood the spoken word.. my husband didn't speak until he was 3. The thing is.. you could talk to her like she's 12 with several commands in a row.. and she'll do them and understand completely what you want her to do. She gets bored with toys and only entertains herself with creative things (play-doh, pretend play, coloring, painting, building with blocks, writing). She has no interest in books or dolls or things like that. She gives the illusion of communication because she's so extremely expressive in her face and body language. But if you count the words she actually says .. it's barely 30.. and 15 of those we force her to say. She'd rather INVENT sign language to speak... which she has done. She'd rather take your finger to show you what she wants instead of say it. She'd rather figure out how to get it herself or do it herself if you ask her to say the word. When she was 13mos, I'd try to get her to speak by saying "Fawn.. Say 'drink'," and she'd just nod. It was the weirdest thing. She knew an ungodly amount of vocabulary at 12 mos but wouldn't speak it. She'd just nod as if to tell you "Yea, that's what it's called. Give it to me." "No, Fawn.. say "Drink".. watch mommy's mouth.. say "da da da drink".. of course I'm just looking for an attempt. She would just nod.

Honestly, it breaks my heart to see other two year olds speaking 3-4 word sentences and bridging new ideas and sharing what they think.. and my daughter barely says two syllable words. It's heartwrenching to think of the last year of us busting our asses to get her to talk. We've refused giving her things (extra things she didn't need like one more piece of cheese for a snack.. or one more cookie .. something unnecessary) unless she used the word, and she'll eventually say it after much struggling to get her to even TRY. But the next time, it's the same struggle. We've rewarded her with m&m's for saying a word.. to see if it was defiance and stubbornness and it didn't matter. Her first words were shoes and please. Yea.. seriously..

No, I take that back. When she was 8mos old I have a recording of her repeating Mama over and over again.. and it would make me cry. She would do all of her sounds with me and everything, it was beautiful and then all of a sudden... Nothing. I know there's little to no research, but they're convinced she doesn't have a hearing problem due to frequent ear infections and now tubes in her ears since 11mos. But I'm not convinced. She hears.. but I'm not sure the sound isn't distorted. She seems HYPER sensitive to sound :/

Either way, we've been referred to a speech pathologist to determine what her issue is. I really hope whatever it is, it's correctable. And if it is stubbornness.. because Fawn is pretty damn stubborn... then we're in trouble.

Day 23 // Cont'd .. History

So, on a new pagan forum I'm a member of the post came up about how you came to witchcraft. I figured I'd give the more detailed answer here.

So I was about 15, found a Silver Ravenwolf book and read it. I was completely thrilled that something like this really existed. Seriously. I had written quite a bit of poetry when I was younger about Mother Earth. Want a sample?

The Earth is screaming, sobbing weeping//searching through my veins.
It brings new messages to me with every heart beat//and thought within my brain.
It rumbles it's thunder and thinks like lightning//It interrupts my continuance and shows me the frightening
What holds you back, Great Earth Mother//of cleansing yourself from hell, horrors and hunger?
Your light burns deep taking me into your hold//You are my spirit and soul, for which a body you mold.
Hold fast, Sweet Earth Mother of mine//Greatness and beauty will return down the line
Of power and faith from which you control//Your followers, like me, can be your patrol
I breathe for thee, and hold you fast//I live for thee and learn my past
The world speaks to us if you listened to your hearts//for they are the ears of Mother Earth.

Cheesy, I know, but meh.. I was 14 ;) So yea, I was writing stuff about Goddesses and Mother Earth constantly and then found Silver Ravenwolfs "To Ride a Silver Broomstick" and fell in love. I practiced magick daily. I felt so empowered and cared for. I felt like the divine was everywhere around me and while I didn't see it so much as a religious move, I felt very connected and magickal.

Then I had a scary dream. I was asleep in my room and opened my eyes to find four hooded figures standing in my room around me. I was freaked out. I couldn't see their faces and wasn't sure I wanted too. I knew they were spiritual, I just wasn't sure they were good. So I stopped practicing all together and was afraid God was punishing me. So I stopped and the magickal feeling for the world was cut off from me.

I finished high school disconnected and not believing in anything. I became suicidal over family events and needed to move out to gain my sanity back. Eventually, my sophomore year in college I landed an RA job that allowed me to move out and live in the dorms for free. It was perfect. And then it happened again, I met a girl who was a "Green Witch". I have this uncanny knack for pagan radar. Anyway, I was too afraid to pick it back up again, but I would go to pagan shops with her and loved being in them.

I tried to "be" Christian and it didn't work. It didn't fit. I found myself frustrated and angry and confused all the time. To the point where, after I got married I would say to my husband "Pray that this is resolved." and he would say "Why don't you pray for it too?" and I'd say "Because God listens to you. I don't exist to him." My husband would always argue that point, but I felt it. I knew the Christian God wasn't there for me. I became terrified of Death, terrified of everything, terrified of losing everything because there was nothing to believe in.

And then one day about a year and a half ago, on a very long ride home from visiting people I didn't want to see I thought "So what, if I don't believe in God. Am I really pagan?" I decided labels would come later, I just start thinking about the universe instead. So, through talking with my husband and figuring out what felt right I began to form a picture of what I thought was religion for me. It fits with paganism and I'm still unsure of which path (I've read more books in the last six months than I have in my life, I think? ;P) and I'm currently leaning towards a Druid path, but I'm interested in Hermeticism as well. Point is, all I've done is read and think and I've still not decided exactly what I am and that's okay. I know what I'm not and when I said what I wasn't out loud to my husband, I felt so much better. I didn't feel abandoned, I felt free. I felt free to view the universe the way my own heart sees it.

My soul is at peace and I am more religious now than I have ever been and tomorrow I'll be even more religious than I have ever been. I am happy with my soul. Now, I'm working out the kinks, like finding a matron/patron deity and unclogging the 13 years of non-magickal buildup I have.

I have found my way and I hope this helps someone understand and figure out what they need to do to find themselves and be at peace.

Day 23 // Myriad

You will often hear me say that I HATE where I live. Not the house, or the neighborhood or the city. Those are the best out of what we've found. But I HATE this state and this climate. It's too freakin' hot, summer lasts from April to November.

But I could never deny how much I love the wildflowers that bloom in the spring. It is quite common to see photographers lined up on the highways and back roads, in the fields taking pictures for hours. It's quite amazing how resilient they are.

Like I've shown before, I have a continuous supply of buttercups in my backyard. I've dried two bunches already, we've mowed (have to -- neighborhood rules), and they've popped right back up. Well, my front yard is now covered in Catsear (Flatweed or False Dandelions). The whole plant can be eaten and used like Dandelions and the only difference is a few physical differences in leaf shape and stem. It originated in Europe and now is considered a noxious weed.

and this evening, I'm out to cultivate this bright yellow herb! I'll be drying the leaves and the flowers and leaving the roots. Maybe I'll be fortunate enough to get more ;)

I also built my raised bed in about 20 minutes from planks of wood for my herbs and let's just say, I'm super nervous. I hope the herbs survive! *nail biting* For the meantime, I'm off to work on my Ogham divination set.

Day 22 // Happy Beltane!

Last night, I held a small solitary ritual for Beltane making some Beltane Oil and followed with a Banishing Oil I had been meaning to make. I wish there was a local group nearby that I could participate with, but alas, solitary is excellent if not better ;) This marks the very first holiday I have participated in as a pagan.

Did I mention that I love little glass bottles? ^.^

Any who, we made a trip out to buy some wood. Get this! I want to make a raised bed, right? For my herbs. If you go and buy a pre-cut raised bed kit from "PLUG IN LOCAL DO-IT-YOURSELF LAWN AND HOME STORE", you can pay around 70$ !!!!! That's not counting the soil to fill it! Good grief that's a scam!

So, being the thrifty freak I am.. I'm doing it myself ;) Huzzah! I'm sticking it to the Do-it-yourself man.... whoever.. he is.

I bought a 5/4" x 6" x 16' plank of wood, had THEM cut it (they cut it for free) into two 6" x 4' planks and two 6" x 3' planks for a whopping.. $7.00!!! Then add in the 2" wood screws and you've got MAYBE $10 with sales tax for a 4' x 3' raised bed. I could have had a 5' x 3' but I was afraid it wouldn't fit in the car with the car seat in the back.. .. plus... Fawn, lol. I don't think she'd take kindly to sharing space with lumber not to mention the safety hazard. SO! 4'x3' it is and it's plenty big enough.

I was chicken shit decided to play it smart and since the herbs were doing so well in the little biodegradable cells, I bought biodegradable 4"- 6'' pots to transplant them into before exposing them to the raised bed, raw like... ...

Since everything was biodegradable I just left the herbs in their original cells, ripped off the bottoms so the roots didn't have to fight through the container (even though they had started too) and sat them inside the new biodegradable pots. Filled in the sides with soil and sat them outside. They're currently enjoying their first evening and night in fresh air and pure sunlight. I watered them and left them on my cement slab until I can build the bed tomorrow morning.. I would have done it today but .. the summer heat was in full gear and I was already working quite a sweat watering the lawn in near 90F heat at 7pm.

Let me tell you, 23 containers of baby herbs makes you look quite the pro if you've never grown anything. Dare I say, I have a light green thumb? If they survive the transplant/move outside and the treacherous onslaught of summer, I'll officially title myself, Queen of the Herbs!!! ... for the day at least.. :P